funny jokes i hear from time to time!

i'll usually post a new one everyday.

why did jimmy drop his ice cream.................................

he got hit by a bus

lol i got one too

Friend1: dude, how did you break your leg?
friend2: see those stairs over there?
friend1:yeah why?
friend2:i got hit by a car

lol

What is the difference between a pile of dead babies and a cadillac?



I don't have a cadillac in my garage

Racist Joke:

When's the only time to focus on a black person.
When he is in your cross hairs of your .50

(No offense intended)

Im Black On the Inside no offense taken

What's worse than 10 dead babies nailed to a tree?


1 dead baby nailed to 10 trees

here is a great blonde joke

There were three women trapped on an island. A blonde, a brunette, and a red head. They found a genie in a bottle. He said that he would grant each person a single wish. The red head wished first. She wished she could go home to her family. Her wish was granted. The brunette wished to go home too, because she missed her family. Her wish was granted. The blonde was lonely on the island, so she wished her friends back.

Wizzard wrote:

here is a great blonde joke

There were three women trapped on an island. A blonde, a brunette, and a red head. They found a genie in a bottle. He said that he would grant each person a single wish. The red head wished first. She wished she could go home to her family. Her wish was granted. The brunette wished to go home too, because she missed her family. Her wish was granted. The blonde was lonely on the island, so she wished her friends back.

Heard this one before and I lol'd :p. Good One, also, Thor, good one.

How do you make a plumber cry?

I don't know, I'm not a scientist.

Wizzard wrote:

How do you make a plumber cry?

YOU KILL HIS FAMILY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What is yellow and at the bottom of the swimming pool?


A dead baby with slashed floaties!


What is yellow and is floating in the swimming pool?


A slashed baby!

Thor1192 wrote:

YOU KILL HIS FAMILY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Correct LOL

Why did George fall off of his bicycle?

He got hit by a bus.

Wizzard wrote:

Why did George fall off of his bicycle?

Well to start there was a bank robbery consisting of 8 thieves in the USA bank for Idiots and the police showed up and there was a massive shoot out after 3 of the bank robbers were killed they finally decided to get the @#$% out of there! They stole an armored vehicle and started going down the interstate! The police quickly found out about the ploy and went in persuit of the armored car! After much shooting and car crashes, one of the police officers fired a shot that hit the back right wheel! The car skidded out of control and flipped! The bank robbers then proceeded to steal a car from a little old lady(who they shot ) and took off! The police finally having enough with this called in a helecopter to take out the car! The bank robbers were ready for something like this and had a RPG at the ready! Firing they took out the helecopter, and while celebrating they dropped the RPG out of the window, and having no time to stop they left it! As the speeding cops were gaining on the bank robbers; the quickly ditched the vehicle and took up a vantage point on the top of one of the tall buildings. As the police show up, they start picking them off with an assortment of weapons. The police quickly dive behind there car seeking protection from the volley of bullets! One police officer is laying dead not ten feet from the hiding police officers, and in his hands he is cluching the same RPG that was fired at the helecopter! One police officer dives for it and quickly fires into the building! As the building falls from lack of structure! and the building collapses and explodes a pebble flies about a mile into town landing on a very nice neigborhood road. 2 Weeks Later The kid riding his bike hits the pebble, successfully knocking him off of his bicycle


//In my defence I was bored

>Hades< wrote:

He got hit by a bus.

Yes this is correct. I guess you and Thor love stealing my thunder.

What do you call a dead baby with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean?



Fucked

Wizzard wrote:

Fine then, Don't answer my question!!

Fine then I wont

How do you stop a baby crawling round in circles ?





Nail its other hand to the floor.

ok im posting this early because I was just talking to someone that said they have heard every blond joke!!!! I asked a friend and they told me this!
//no offence to any blonds

What's the difference between a bowling ball and a blonde?








You can only fit three fingers inside a bowling ball!

Cancer..... (It;s what the kid without any arms got for Christmas)

Here are a few questions to answer:
1) What do you call an eternity?
2) Why do blondes have TGIF written on their shoes?
3) What do smart blondes and ufo's have in common?

toes go in first