funny jokes i hear from time to time!

ive always found this joke hilarious, the first 1 is

a guy walks into a bar, ouch

2nd 1

a guy walks into a bar in mexico and he says to the bartender "give me everything u have mixed together" the bartender says "are you sure? it might kill you" guy says "yea im sure" so he takes it and drinks it then he goes and jumps out the window, a few minutes later he comes back and says "give me another 1 of those" and the bartender says "how did u do that" he said "just give me another 1" so he gives him and he goes and jumps out the window again, another guy in the bar walks up to the bartender and says "give me what he's having" then he goes and jumps out the window, a few minutes later the 1st guy comes back and the bartender says "how did you do that" and he says "oh, im superman i just love fucking with the mexicans"

and number 3 is

u keep hearing about them but never see them

Wizzard wrote:

Thor1192 wrote:

Wizzard wrote:

Why did George fall off of his bicycle?

Well to start there was a bank robbery consisting of 8 thieves in the USA bank for Idiots and the police showed up and there was a massive shoot out after 3 of the bank robbers were killed they finally decided to get the @#$% out of there! They stole an armored vehicle and started going down the interstate! The police quickly found out about the ploy and went in persuit of the armored car! After much shooting and car crashes, one of the police officers fired a shot that hit the back right wheel! The car skidded out of control and flipped! The bank robbers then proceeded to steal a car from a little old lady(who they shot ) and took off! The police finally having enough with this called in a helecopter to take out the car! The bank robbers were ready for something like this and had a RPG at the ready! Firing they took out the helecopter, and while celebrating they dropped the RPG out of the window, and having no time to stop they left it! As the speeding cops were gaining on the bank robbers; the quickly ditched the vehicle and took up a vantage point on the top of one of the tall buildings. As the police show up, they start picking them off with an assortment of weapons. The police quickly dive behind there car seeking protection from the volley of bullets! One police officer is laying dead not ten feet from the hiding police officers, and in his hands he is cluching the same RPG that was fired at the helecopter! One police officer dives for it and quickly fires into the building! As the building falls from lack of structure! and the building collapses and explodes a pebble flies about a mile into town landing on a very nice neigborhood road. 2 Weeks Later The kid riding his bike hits the pebble, successfully knocking him off of his bicycle


//In my defence I was bored

Actually, simply put, the kid did not have any arms

What did the kid with no arms get for Christmas?

the way i heard it was that he could not open it so they couldn't figure out? (:

Elvemage wrote:

Wizzard wrote:

Thor1192 wrote:

Wizzard wrote:

Why did George fall off of his bicycle?

Well to start there was a bank robbery consisting of 8 thieves in the USA bank for Idiots and the police showed up and there was a massive shoot out after 3 of the bank robbers were killed they finally decided to get the @#$% out of there! They stole an armored vehicle and started going down the interstate! The police quickly found out about the ploy and went in persuit of the armored car! After much shooting and car crashes, one of the police officers fired a shot that hit the back right wheel! The car skidded out of control and flipped! The bank robbers then proceeded to steal a car from a little old lady(who they shot ) and took off! The police finally having enough with this called in a helecopter to take out the car! The bank robbers were ready for something like this and had a RPG at the ready! Firing they took out the helecopter, and while celebrating they dropped the RPG out of the window, and having no time to stop they left it! As the speeding cops were gaining on the bank robbers; the quickly ditched the vehicle and took up a vantage point on the top of one of the tall buildings. As the police show up, they start picking them off with an assortment of weapons. The police quickly dive behind there car seeking protection from the volley of bullets! One police officer is laying dead not ten feet from the hiding police officers, and in his hands he is cluching the same RPG that was fired at the helecopter! One police officer dives for it and quickly fires into the building! As the building falls from lack of structure! and the building collapses and explodes a pebble flies about a mile into town landing on a very nice neigborhood road. 2 Weeks Later The kid riding his bike hits the pebble, successfully knocking him off of his bicycle


//In my defence I was bored

Actually, simply put, the kid did not have any arms

What did the kid with no arms get for Christmas?

the way i heard it was that he could not open it so they couldn't figure out? (:

Well, I guess everyone has their own version of a simple joke.

Here is an interesting one:
There was a family traveling through Wisconsin. They stopped at a restaurant in the town of Oconomowoc. After they get inside, they start arguing abut the pronunciation of Oconomowoc. They decided to settle the argument by asking the person behind the counter. The mom says "Please speak very slowly and pronunciate clearly on where we are."
The blonde leans over the counter and says "Bbbbuuuurrrr ggggeeeerrrr king."

Wizzard wrote:

Elvemage wrote:

Wizzard wrote:

Thor1192 wrote:

Wizzard wrote:

Why did George fall off of his bicycle?

Well to start there was a bank robbery consisting of 8 thieves in the USA bank for Idiots and the police showed up and there was a massive shoot out after 3 of the bank robbers were killed they finally decided to get the @#$% out of there! They stole an armored vehicle and started going down the interstate! The police quickly found out about the ploy and went in persuit of the armored car! After much shooting and car crashes, one of the police officers fired a shot that hit the back right wheel! The car skidded out of control and flipped! The bank robbers then proceeded to steal a car from a little old lady(who they shot ) and took off! The police finally having enough with this called in a helecopter to take out the car! The bank robbers were ready for something like this and had a RPG at the ready! Firing they took out the helecopter, and while celebrating they dropped the RPG out of the window, and having no time to stop they left it! As the speeding cops were gaining on the bank robbers; the quickly ditched the vehicle and took up a vantage point on the top of one of the tall buildings. As the police show up, they start picking them off with an assortment of weapons. The police quickly dive behind there car seeking protection from the volley of bullets! One police officer is laying dead not ten feet from the hiding police officers, and in his hands he is cluching the same RPG that was fired at the helecopter! One police officer dives for it and quickly fires into the building! As the building falls from lack of structure! and the building collapses and explodes a pebble flies about a mile into town landing on a very nice neigborhood road. 2 Weeks Later The kid riding his bike hits the pebble, successfully knocking him off of his bicycle


//In my defence I was bored

Actually, simply put, the kid did not have any arms

What did the kid with no arms get for Christmas?

the way i heard it was that he could not open it so they couldn't figure out? (:

Well, I guess everyone has their own version of a simple joke.

Agree'd.

What takes up 18 parking spots?




9 women drivers

Been kinda in the dumps lately but the made me laugh haha thanks